DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife’s best friend from high school, “Nelly,” has become a very successful businesswoman. Each year, she will invite us to the fall fundraiser for the local performing arts society, which raises funds for local theater groups. She will buy a table of eight for this event and invite us to join her.

She invites friends to an annual fundraising event thinking it’s okay they attend and not donate. Turns out, it isn’t okay.

But my wife and I are in no position financially to even bid on these items, let alone to have the winning bid.

A couple attends a charity auction each year on the invitation of their friend. But they can’t afford to bid, to the organizer disinvited them. Plus. how do I politely dig the delicious

In today's Miss Manners column, advice columnist Judith Martin offers guidance on how to respond when a couple is asked not to attend a future charity event they were invited to by a friend, due to their lack of participation in the auction and fundraising efforts.